A meditation on film, or, burn in hell Cameron Crowe

Let us take a moment from our stresses, and reflect upon the films of Cameron Crowe.

His films vary wildly in quality, from entertaining diversion (Fast Times at Ridgemont High), to self indulgent blow jobs (Vanilla Sky). Let us review them one by one, in order of release:

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: One of the three films on this list I would actually say is worth watching: its got it's moments, but ultimately becomes a meandering series of interwoven sketches. His career could have gone either way at this point. It is to be noted that he wrote, but did not direct this one, so it doesn't show him in the full light.

The Wild Life: The only Crowe movie I have not seen. Boasted as "from the creators of Fast Times at Ridgemont High", and has a middle of the road IMDB raiting. Take it as you will.

Say Anything...: The second worthwhile movie on the list, as long as you've just graduated from high school. It's sort of like a John Hughes movie with a male lead, and slightly more realistic characters. It has not aged well as a film, but can still be enjoyed if just for it's place in thrusting John Cusack into the lime light.

Singles: And here our true troubles begin. A framework for a grunge soundtrack with a maudlin collection of stories about people in lousy relationships. Unwatchable clap trap.

Jerry McGuire: One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Predicable, sappy vehicle for a collection of catch phrases. Add in a cute kid, Rene Zelwigger, and Cuba Gooding Jr. screaming his head off in one of the most puzzling Oscar awarded performances of the last twenty years, and you've got a simply terrible movie. It didn't help that I kept having to hear SHOW ME THE MONEY!! bellowed from my roommates, who did not agree with my assessment of the film, for several weeks following it's release.

Almost Famous: The third and final decent movie on the list. While a little sappy, it has a good heart. It's music fits the film, & the time period, though the ending seems a bit hooky. The typical Croweisms were there, but were tolerable. I started to forgive Crowe for his missteps...

Vanilla Sky: Until I saw this maudlin, nonsensical piece of shit. I refuse to dwell on it, other than to ponder this: When a perfectly good foreign film is made (The Wings of Desire), why do we, as Americans, remake them as far inferior vehicles for our lesser stars (City of Angles staring Meg Ryan)?

Elizabethtown: Say Anything... only with a dull story and twenty somethings at a funeral. Retreading your previous material does not make for a good thing Mister Crowe.

While some films suffer from it more than others, all of them feel like a series of events strung together to form a whole rather than a cohesive story. Its like watching a series of SNL skits with connectors to make them seem like an actual narrative. I'm done with him, and bored to tears with his shitty movies. I'd rather watch a Uwe Boll film. At least he knows what he is: a hack.

(Thank you Holly for giving me the nudge to get blogging again)